


Words are Hard

by HadesGhostGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: American Sign Language, Bisexual Dean Winchester, F/M, Fix-It, M/M, Mute Dean Winchester, Post-Season/Series 15, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HadesGhostGirl/pseuds/HadesGhostGirl
Summary: With everything that's happened, Dean struggles to find words.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 106





	Words are Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't watched supernatural in 5 years. I have no idea if Eileen is in character (or sam and dean for that matter). Take this self indulgent thing!

Sam walked into the bunker's kitchen and found Eileen and Dean talking. What surprised him about this was the way they were talking. Both Dean and Eileen's hands moved rapidly as they talked in asl. Occasionally, Dean's signs would falter. He would frown, pause and then restart the sign. For a moment, Sam just watched. His girlfriend and brother were both unaware of his presence until he cleared his throat.

Eileen looked up and waved a hello. Dean turned to face him with an uncomfortable look on his face. He tapped a closed fist to his mouth once. Sam wasn't familiar with that sign.

"What?" Sam said, walking closer to his brother.

Dean made the same sign at him and at Sam's continued blank look he sighed through his nose and resorted to finger spelling.

C-A-N-T T-A-L-K

Repeating the letters with his own hands, Sam worked out what his brother was trying to say. "You can't talk?"

Dean nodded.

"Is this a spell? How can I help?" Sam asked, rapid fire. He folded himself into the seat next to Eileen but kept his eyes on his brother.

Eileen tapped his shoulder. "Sam," she said and he turned to her. She signed at Dean and Sam caught some of it but couldn't quite parse it with how quickly her hands moved. Dean nodded again. "Dean's mute. Selectively mute."

Dean nodded. He tapped his fist to his mouth again. He then fingerspelt;

F-I-N-E S-O-O-N. T-R-A-U-M-A.

"This isn't new?"

Dean signed 'hidden'.

"How?" Sam asked, signing along now.

'Felt weak. Forced speech.'

"You are anything but weak Dean," Sam told his brother, a tear rolled down his own cheek as he watched Dean's eyes water. "You're the strongest person i know."

Dean made a strangled sound that broke Sam's heart and the tears came down properly now. Both brothers cried, if there wasn't a table between them they would probably have sobbed in each others arms. Eileen reached across the table to Dean and grabbed his hand.

"Am I weak?" She asked him.

Dean looked at her. He wiped his eyes with his free hand as he shook his head.

She smiled. "Then neither are you."

Dean returned her smile.

"Dean?" Sam asked, gently easing his hand across the table to grab his brother's other hand. "Are you okay?"

Shaking off Sam and Eileen's hands, which caused Sam some unwarranted rejection, Dean started to sign again. First he did a double thumbs up. 'I'm okay. Everything was just too much. Losing-' here he pulled his hand up away from his head, tracing the outside of a feather with his fingers and finished with a C sign. 'Then everyone. Then-' he did the same sign but slightly smaller and with a J. 'Became god and everyone was back. But-' feather C. 'Still gone. It's too much.'

"Dean," Sam said, drawing his brother's name out slightly. "What happened between you and Cas?"

Dean paused for a moment. His hands shook as he tried to sign. Sam looked to Eileen but she shook her head at him. Eventually, Dean held up one finger and started rummaging around the kitchen. Dean grunted as he pushed aside utensils. He made a triumphant noise as he found a notebook with a pen wedged in it's spirals. Dean dropped into his seat again and started to write. His hands still shook but the pen was more sure in his hand than his signs had been.

~~_His deal with the empty it required_ ~~

~~_He had to_ ~~

_He told me he loved me Sammy._

_And I ~~love him~~ couldn't say it back. The empty took him and I couldn't say it back. I can't_

Dean handed the notebook to Sam, roughly shoving it at him. Sam picked it up, carefully watching as Dean's body language closed off. Looking down, Sam read the scribbled note carefully. His eyes widened.

"Dean-"

Before he could say anymore Dean was signing again. He pointed to himself and then made the letter B against his chin, as he moved his hand down he changed it to the letter I. 'Known since we were small.' He paused.

Sam took the moment to speak. "I know Dean. You aren't exactly subtly."

Dean chuckled. "It's-" he stopped, shook his head. He signed 'can't talk' again. 'Cas loves me Sammy.' Sam nodded but before he could speak Dean's hands were moving again. 'I have to get him back.'

Dean pushed up from the table and left the room. Sam looked at Eileen. Eileen pushed his arm. She signed 'move. Follow him.' And then they left, following Dean to the library.


End file.
